m_findlow

Title: Clawed
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Owen
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 564 - Claw at slashthedrabble
Summary: Ianto is in need of an extreme manicure.

'What the hell is that?' Owen exclaimed as Ianto invaded his medical bay, holding up both his hands to show off his nails. 'This isn't one of those April Fool's Day pranks, is it?' Owen asked, frowning at the hands with equal parts horror and suspicion.

'I have claws where I used to have fingernails, Owen,' Ianto said, looking annoyed and a little perplexed. He fumbled around in his pocket, clearly struggling to get his fingers around something inside, before finally gripping it and slamming a tube of something on Owen's worktop. 'I think this is responsible.'

'What is it?'

'Hand cream, according to Jack. One of his little extraplanetary acquisitions,' he added with a slight eye roll.

Owen sighed. 'Great. Harkness!' he yelled out.

The sound of Jack's footsteps preceded him. 'Hey guys, what's- Woah, what is that?' he asked, seeing Ianto's hands.

Owen flung the tube of cream at him. 'You tell me. Your boyfriend looks like Halloween gone wrong. He says that is the most likely culprit.'  

Jack frowned at the tube. 'This? Can't be. I've used it plenty of times and never had a problem,' he said. 'It just replenishes dead cells.'

'Well, there must be some kind of genetic mutation in the last three thousand years that dulls the effects,' Owen surmised. 'It did more than just rejuvenate a few cells. How long ago did you apply it?'

'Two hours,' Ianto replied, flexing his inch-long talons. 'This happened about fifteen minutes ago. They just grew like crazy.'

'I have to say I'm a little surprised, Ianto,' Jack confessed. 'I guess I just never thought you were the-' Jack cut himself off as Ianto began raising a judicious eyebrow at him.

'Go on,' Ianto insisted. 'Finish that thought. You never thought I was...' He couldn't wait to hear exactly just how Jack was planning on getting both feet in his mouth this time.

Jack squirmed under the scrutinising gaze. 'The kind of guy that likes to moisturise his hands?' Jack's inflection went so high he nearly squeaked out the last syllable, before flinching slightly, waiting for the fist that would most likely punch him in the arm for saying so.

'My apologies,' Ianto replied. 'I didn't realise you had to be on the outrageously sparkly rainbow gay parade float to concern yourself with dry hands.'

Owen snorted a laugh at that. It wasn't often Ianto got to point score by using gay jokes.

Ianto sighed. 'So, what do you suggest, Owen? Am I safe to cut them or file them down, do you think?'

Owen gave the hands another look. 'Doesn't look like it's anything other than keratin, no nerves running through them, so yeah, we give them a clip and hopefully that's that.'

Jack looked disappointed. 'So, no chance of me getting a little roughed up before you give them the chop? Could be fun, Ianto. We've never done a claw kink before.'

Ianto narrowed his eyes at Jack and scowled. 'What do you reckon?'